Sunday, April 23, 2006

Blog Revisited (B'Mhairah b'yomainu Amen!)

I can't help but noticing that noone is actually reading this blog. Not really much of an issue for me, truth be told, because it seems that my worst writing is always when I'm blogging. I write good essays, I'm writing a story that most of my friends seem to like... I just can't blog. Maybe it's because I'm so restricted in what I can actually post online, where anyone can read it. Then again, maybe it's because I'm so restricted in what I can bring myself to post online, where anyone can read it.
Somewhat unsurprisingly, my loyal readers (or lack there-of) seem to have handled this problem for me with an unprecedented diligence. I can only hope that my future posts will be better than the previous ones. (I don't mean to insult you, by the way, if you actually DO read my blog. I am merely denying your existence.)
Well, this leaves us with a wide open forum of unexplored landscape. God knows what's going up here next. Let's see what the issues of today are. I'm thinking....... ok I really am thinking give me a minute......
Alright I got it. Brace yourselves, my eager fans, as we prepare to delve deep into the insanely, gut-wrenchingly controversial topic of: Putting sweet potatoes in a chulent. Or rather, doing so after having hijacked said chulent.
There is no doubt in my mind that this issue is a super-sensitive topic world-wide, and that what I am about to write will be affecting a large majority of the Jewish population of the world. Thereby meaning me and my brother, at least. Lately our Mom has been doing just that, sneaking large quantities of sweet potato into the chulent behind our backs, or when she thinks we don't notice. We don't eat the sweet potatoes, not in chulent at any rate. They are simply far to sweet (duh) and stringy. What's worse, they mush into the chulent so that every bite is filled with horrifically stringy chunks of orange goo.
Now of course we love our mother, and I would like to insert at this point that she bought me rollerblades and she rocks and is the most awesomest mom ever. BUT THE CHULENT, MOM! THE CHULENT!
I mean, it's not ruined, exactly, I wouldn't go so far as to say that. But if my brother is making the chulent, why shouldn't he be able to decide what goes into it, and more specifically, what doesn't? I think he should, anyway. So I guess the real problem is more in the area of chulent rights, not in the sweet potatoes themselves. I wouldn't want to deny Mom of her potatoes, and I think if she would ask nicely, even my brother would consent. But the grim truth that is being forced upon us here is that we have no control over our own chulent. And THAT thought, I think, should prove deeply disturbing to us all.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Cooked like a chicken in a pot

Three of my classmates are leaving WITZ. Actually two have already left and one won't be coming back after Pesach. They're not officially expelled, of course- the two who have left are suspended, and almost certainly won't come back. The other guy is going to a less frum yeshiva.
What can I say? An expullsion doesn't necessarilly mean the guy is out for trouble. One of them was a good friend of mine, and a decent person. He might have made a couple of mistakes, big mistakes, but he had a future here that he cared about. Now he's gone. the other two were friends as well, albeit more troublesome ones.
A very important part of our class is gone. I have to hand it to them, achdus-wise, this is definately the best class I've ever been a part of. We all get along well, or reasonably well, each of us willing to give up something for the others. Just last night, or this morning I should say, we held a goodbye party for the last guy leaving. we bbq'd steaks and hotdogs and burgers at 5 am, even though rabbi renert hadn't left the building yet and two of us would've been suspended with any more detention. I personally didn't have the money to spend on a burger, but another classmate gave me some of his. (i deny everything stated above, by the way). of course, the rabbis found out about all this already, but they understand, i think. to think that these friends of mine aren't coming back, that i'll probably never see them again, that we'll never cook up any pranks together or drive a teacher crazy together again....
it's hard to acept, at least. these people all would've been elevated a good deal by staying in WITZ, but now they're going off to God knows where, and all i can do for them is pray for the best.