Back where I should belong as I sort through all my junk
Alive, well and wealthy with a lyric driven funk
not that it should bother anyone
seeing as how I'm just begun
crumple up the drafted paper as I write another one
now that its all over I can't help recalling
how I sat five feet up on my bunk and felt like I was falling
through a sea of what by rights should be
a celebration of the time gone by, now all alone for me
accomplishments that were meant to mean
something to somebody nobody's seen
and still do, somewhere up there where a busy college dean
is figuring out how much I'm worth from beans
as the numbers on the sheet tell them just who I am
'cause the numbers don't lie, not when they're worth a damn
so I am, and what should just doesn't matter so much to me
because I've lost control of it and what will be will have to be
and I know I did well, know I worked hard
and maybe just a little push, when I've already got so far
won't help things change or set faces to rights
any more than the time lost on those cold winter nights
when a pint of ice cream could've brought back the warmth
forget the money
forgot to study
just so I don't miss the warmth
because the money I'll have again, and once more I'll hit the books
but those nights are gone, and if I didn't miss out on the photos they took
it's not for lack of trying
they say never being born is better than dying
so I chase myself in circles knowing I oughta be happy
like other years
move along, save the tears
'cause even saying goodbye, I can't stand when things get sappy
but normally the feeling's there and now I just can't find it
my best friend tried to say goodbye, and i didn't even mind, it
never went through my head to turn around and listen
wasn't even real to me, didn't realise I would miss him
while they all mouthed the words and I nodded and didn't know why
lost in all the joy some part of me wanted to cry
until I got home and put down my junk, looked back and saw how I tried
so much for the future, all that headache inducer
for an age of uncertainty, rain falls from the sky and doesn't bother to rhyme
tonight
I realise I may have missed the best year of my life.
About Me
- .30cal
- There really isn't that much to know about me. I just sort of hang out on this irreputable web page. But evidently, not so much. Also, is my zodiac year really a horse year? should this concern me at all? And clearly I like machine guns. I should hope you picked up on this.
Blue City
the funky camp doodle that didn't really come out
A Picture
that I drew in camp last year.
7 comments:
Whoa, 30cal, I didn't know you had any rhythm...
BTW, there's always next year, pay attention!
i'm with abba on this one. gyah, you're like me in retrospect...
yikes. i didn't realise ppl actually still checked this. you'd think leaving it vacant for like, 3 months would by me some lee way. alas, it was not meant to be.
That's the problem with the Internet--everybody and his cousin reads it. In your case, everybody and *your* cousin reads it. :)
Nice poem. I, too, have been known to overlook the good stuff. Sometimes I have to remind myself to keep my eyes peeled and my ears open, so that the good times don't pass me by due to my own failure to notice them.
Enjoy your summer. For real.
yeah, guess i should.
it's not so much that i didn't realize what i was missing, or even that i missed so much. it's just the thought of how i put so much into the things that really weren't as important, really for no better reason than for the pressure to do well, and mostly got little reward for it. I can study 3 hrs for a Gemarah test and still get a B-; i can be a whiz in chemistry, but that won't help if the material on the test ins't in class or in the book; i can get a 3.7 on my gpa, but that's not gonna get my mom off my back about how it should have been a 3.8 and I'm clearly irresponsible and not trying hard enough. and if i do everything right, she'l find some petty nothing to bash me over and start doing that (minyan points or whtvr).
a lot of guys in my class saw this during the year and completely stopped caring about their grades. i kept going, since i wouldn't have a chance to go back and try harder if i turned out to be mistaken. maybe i was right. but for now, all that effort looks wasted, and that rather sucks.
Too long, Clanky, too long!
(Email "long pants")
Really 30 cal, cut down on those comments!
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