To be [politically correct], or not to be?

Abba's gonna kill me for this one.
Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be a topic that is widely debated in this country. Everyone just accepts that you must be politically correct, in the same way that everyone accepts that you only must do so when speaking in public. But recent events have raised my eyebrows concerning the neseccity of this little social peripheral.
1. SWARMS OF PRIVATE LAWSUITS
One important rule of political correctness- the big corporation is always wrong. Our courts are conveniently set up in such a way that even if the company would not be found accountable, it would be cheaper for them if they settled. So we end up with rich kids/snobs sueing corporations for ridiculously trivial and inevitable transgressions-- and getting even richer off it. This seems like lunacy to me and (hopefully) you as well. Is it really that bad to put a person like that, who would take advantage of so many others in for their own benefit, in their place-- even if it would hurt their feelings? especially since that's the point?
2. THE SICK BRUTAL FRENCH KINDEGARTEN SONGS
Being at yeshiva in the cheese state, i often come into contact with canadians. For those who don't know, Canada is made up of five major groups:
*Brits
*Frenchies
(Real Brits are called Britains, real Frenchies are called Frenchmen. Canadians are neither.)
*People who can't decide if they are Brits or Frenchies
*Punk rockers
*The coast guard
The Canadian government tries to interject a little bit of it all into their educational program, so the Canadian kids end up memorizing sweet little songs from Britain, France, and Punk rock. I ended up hearing a lovely french kindergarten song, which i would never be able to spell out, but which i did have translated for me. The lyrics?
"A little bird, we have a little bird-
a little bird, what should we pull off it?
Should we pull off the head? We should pull off the head!
Off with its head, off with its head,
little bird, little bird,
oooooooooo! ..."
The song then repeats, moving on to the feet, wings, etc. This blatant depiction of graphic violence to French (and Canadian) school children (and little birds) greatly disturbs me. so, can i say that french schools are wierd? no, i couldn't get away with that, even on my blog. sorry, frenchmen. as if you care anyway. i mean, gimme a break!
i understand the need for sensitivity towards others, people who i dont understand- but these people i understand, and i see what they're doing to be plain and obvious stupidity. what's so shocking about ridiculing the ridiculous? it's certainly something to think about. and as it were, i got time to dwell on it-- depending on which variation you use, that song can take awhile to sing.

(I apologize to any Cadians who felt abused by this post. I don't really think badly of canadians, except that my roomate is one, so in order to thouroughly denegrate him, some innocent people will inevitably need to be offended.)

Green as a fresh pickled toad...

I recieved a rather rude surprise last week while putting on tefillin. The sun was shining on my face as i adjust my tefillin in the a small hand mirror and suddenly noticed two bright green eyes staring back at me. I found this to be somewhat disturbing because my eyes are blue. it says BLU on my state ID. (That stands for blue, for those of you who may have assumed it stood for hazel or blond or something.) A few months back, my roomate told me my eyes were green, and i was like, "what? green? right. yeah, their blue. y'know.blue." i didn't take him very seriously. i imagine eyes changing colors aren't such uncommon things, but i've never heard of it before and it give me the creeps. then i come home, and find out- ta-da! my sister's eyes have also turned green. what is the world coming to?
Looking back on it though, i've decided to embrace the more positive aspects of this sudden change. such as.... if my hair were red, my eyes would now match it somewhat better. yup, there's one. I'll try and think of more. Any suggestions?

EXAM OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So if I am to understand this correctly, everywhere, all over America, this week is exam week. That doesn't sit well with me, because i am one of the minority groups who are forced by the government to take said exams if i am ever to get a job. yeah i'm a sophomore. that really bugs me.
But to put my parents' minds at ease, I will breifly sum up my chances at these exams. I have four:
ENGLISH: First up. I'm generally a pretty good writer, so i'm not awfully scared of this one. however, there is a certain lack of clarity concerning what our essays will be about. The headers are usually something like, "Determine the subtle subterfuge inherent in Huckleberry Finn's skullduggery (wth?) as compared with the miscreant indescretion of Hamlet." Needless to say, improvision is a necessity.
HISTORY: Also easy, and shorter than writing essays. however, our history teacher is often, well, confused. He puts questions on the test that he never taught, then tells us they're 'not required'. He is constantly trying to figure out exactly how much our tests are worth according to his own grading system. That, and he hasn't had a date since high school, so he's kind of on edge. I guess you can't blame him.
MATH: This one will be cumulative. I've been doing rather well at math this year, but I'm still pretty nervous and will be doing as much studying as I can for this. As anyone familiar with my school knows, our math teacher is one of those, if i may, pompous, arrogant, leftist college professers who can't even imagine the possibility of Bush still being president, even though it's 2006. Yeah, he's also kind of chaotic and violent. And he supports greenpeace. And his face looks like a crumpled up washcloth (input by my dear roomm8).
BIOLOGY: I. AM. DOOOOOOOOMED. There's no hope. Our teacher is a very creepy sort of psychopath, and he decided to take the three hardest sections in the book- photosynthesis, cellular respiration, mols, homeostasis- and putting them on the exam. Sorry, mom. Sorry, abba. I tried. If i think my head is in danger of imploding during the exam, i will scribble my will in the corner with a little note to the professor telling him to plz not rip it up. Also, noone touch my drawer in the basement. it is mine forever. it is boobytrapped. you have been warned.
so wish me hatzlacha rabbah! I'm gonna need it.

Hiding in the Bushes

Hi everyone! (*insert owl hooting or crickets or whatever signifies void*) Alright so I realize i've been gone for a while , more than a month, maybe even two months, but that's life for you. I origionally meant to update this blog once a week, but after a while i decided that it's just not very practical when i don't even have internet access 6 out of 7 days a week. So I'm trying to catch up a bit now, but don't bother checking every day, my eager fans. I'm afraid you're just not going to get that, so you'll just have to go back to doing whatever it was yall were doing before I entered the blog-o-sphere (supporting ralph nader? am i spot on or what?). It's not like i won't be posting or anything- just that my consistancy in writing is about the same as my biology grade average.
Moving on- what happened this week? well, Chanuka happened. On the first morning of Channuka, I sleep-walked to the breakfast room (old beis medrash) after shachris and was rather surprised to find a bush- yeah the green kind- stuck to the ceiling. It had lights decorating it, and more lights taped to the walls and ceiling all over the room. A sign proclaimed "Happy Channuka Bush!". I couldn't help but laughing. There was more laughter as more people filed in for breakfast and noticed the new plant life on the ceiling. Then the other shoe fell.
The rosh yeshiva stormed in and stopped in the doorway, looking a bit put-out/furious. The room became deathly silent. "NOBODY TAKES ANOTHER BITE UNTILL THIS ABOMINATION IS OUT OF HERE!" Everyone immediately began trying to get the bush down- no mean feat, as it was stuck to the high ceiling. "NOT FAST ENOUGH! Everyone participate, I want it gone!" I guess the Rosh Yeshiva didn't find it very humourous. At length we got the thing down and dragged it outside. When noone would confess to having planted the bush, the Rebbe canceled breakfast and sent us all out of the breakfast room. (I snuck back later and stole some cereal). I'd thought it was funny at least, if somewhat inapropriate. Later the Rosh gave us a late breakfast and free donuts to compensate.
Now since this story occured a week ago, I've gotten mixed opinions on it. Some were very severe when they heard about the Channuka Bush; some thought it was hilarious. I guess i'm sort of middle ground on the issue. Now I'm hearing that one of my classmates might be expelled over it. Is this really that big a deal?