So if I am to understand this correctly, everywhere, all over America, this week is exam week. That doesn't sit well with me, because i am one of the minority groups who are forced by the government to take said exams if i am ever to get a job. yeah i'm a sophomore. that really bugs me.
But to put my parents' minds at ease, I will breifly sum up my chances at these exams. I have four:
ENGLISH: First up. I'm generally a pretty good writer, so i'm not awfully scared of this one. however, there is a certain lack of clarity concerning what our essays will be about. The headers are usually something like, "Determine the subtle subterfuge inherent in Huckleberry Finn's skullduggery (wth?) as compared with the miscreant indescretion of Hamlet." Needless to say, improvision is a necessity.
HISTORY: Also easy, and shorter than writing essays. however, our history teacher is often, well, confused. He puts questions on the test that he never taught, then tells us they're 'not required'. He is constantly trying to figure out exactly how much our tests are worth according to his own grading system. That, and he hasn't had a date since high school, so he's kind of on edge. I guess you can't blame him.
MATH: This one will be cumulative. I've been doing rather well at math this year, but I'm still pretty nervous and will be doing as much studying as I can for this. As anyone familiar with my school knows, our math teacher is one of those, if i may, pompous, arrogant, leftist college professers who can't even imagine the possibility of Bush still being president, even though it's 2006. Yeah, he's also kind of chaotic and violent. And he supports greenpeace. And his face looks like a crumpled up washcloth (input by my dear roomm8).
BIOLOGY: I. AM. DOOOOOOOOMED. There's no hope. Our teacher is a very creepy sort of psychopath, and he decided to take the three hardest sections in the book- photosynthesis, cellular respiration, mols, homeostasis- and putting them on the exam. Sorry, mom. Sorry, abba. I tried. If i think my head is in danger of imploding during the exam, i will scribble my will in the corner with a little note to the professor telling him to plz not rip it up. Also, noone touch my drawer in the basement. it is mine forever. it is boobytrapped. you have been warned.
so wish me hatzlacha rabbah! I'm gonna need it.
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4 comments:
If it's the English teacher I think it is... he chucked me out of class in October (the person to my left was talking - he just threw out that whole side of the room). It gave me 5 free periods for that semester (I'd finished math, was out of Bekius...)
He walked over to me the day before the final and asked me why I hadn't handed in any work. I looked at him incredulously, and reminded him that I was thrown out 3 months earlier. He said I still had to do all the work - 27 assignments. By when? By the final. Which was when? The next day.
I didn't sleep much that night, but I averaged about an A- on all those assignments. It was fun. You just need to make up a lot of stuff and talk about "ideals". :)
Bringing in the bible also works, as it were. My friend (who is a tzdik and a genius) didn't read a single page of huckleberry finn when we were assigned it, but instead made a comment in class on how huck had 'dam l'kaf zchus'. he got an A, but not only that- the teacher used him as the 'example' of how the rest of us would get good grades if we read the book like he did. It was so funny...
Ha Ha. We in Toronto don't have exams until the middle of February - two weeks. I haven't started studying. Unfortunately, we have exams in ALL Hebrew studies and "Big tests" (exams that the school can't give us because then they can't give us exams in June) in all English studies. And a big test in French, which by definition is neither Hebrew nor English.
Should I tell you to count yourself lucky?
Tzipster- u have to learn french?! I think i will count myself lucky. read my next post to see how much french I know....
abe (& my parents)- guess what? i don't think i failed that biology exam after all! i may even have gotten a 70+! turned out, the whole confusion factor was just my teacher's wierd/retarded/creepy way of teaching. after studying for two hours out of the actual test book, i knew almost all the material cold. except one or two chapters. hey, I'm not perfect.
(if u would all raises your voices to argue that last point, it would do wonders for my self esteem.)
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