Hi everyone! (*insert owl hooting or crickets or whatever signifies void*) Alright so I realize i've been gone for a while , more than a month, maybe even two months, but that's life for you. I origionally meant to update this blog once a week, but after a while i decided that it's just not very practical when i don't even have internet access 6 out of 7 days a week. So I'm trying to catch up a bit now, but don't bother checking every day, my eager fans. I'm afraid you're just not going to get that, so you'll just have to go back to doing whatever it was yall were doing before I entered the blog-o-sphere (supporting ralph nader? am i spot on or what?). It's not like i won't be posting or anything- just that my consistancy in writing is about the same as my biology grade average.
Moving on- what happened this week? well, Chanuka happened. On the first morning of Channuka, I sleep-walked to the breakfast room (old beis medrash) after shachris and was rather surprised to find a bush- yeah the green kind- stuck to the ceiling. It had lights decorating it, and more lights taped to the walls and ceiling all over the room. A sign proclaimed "Happy Channuka Bush!". I couldn't help but laughing. There was more laughter as more people filed in for breakfast and noticed the new plant life on the ceiling. Then the other shoe fell.
The rosh yeshiva stormed in and stopped in the doorway, looking a bit put-out/furious. The room became deathly silent. "NOBODY TAKES ANOTHER BITE UNTILL THIS ABOMINATION IS OUT OF HERE!" Everyone immediately began trying to get the bush down- no mean feat, as it was stuck to the high ceiling. "NOT FAST ENOUGH! Everyone participate, I want it gone!" I guess the Rosh Yeshiva didn't find it very humourous. At length we got the thing down and dragged it outside. When noone would confess to having planted the bush, the Rebbe canceled breakfast and sent us all out of the breakfast room. (I snuck back later and stole some cereal). I'd thought it was funny at least, if somewhat inapropriate. Later the Rosh gave us a late breakfast and free donuts to compensate.
Now since this story occured a week ago, I've gotten mixed opinions on it. Some were very severe when they heard about the Channuka Bush; some thought it was hilarious. I guess i'm sort of middle ground on the issue. Now I'm hearing that one of my classmates might be expelled over it. Is this really that big a deal?
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7 comments:
I'd like to know too. I thought it was clever, certainly didn't expect the results you reported, but my opinion really means nothing, as I'm not Jewish. I'm very curious about this.
Why were you at school anyway? Don't you get vacation for Hanukkah? (Did you spell it wrong or is that just one of the hundred ways to transcribe Hebrew?)
i got vacation, but only for the last 3 days. The Rabbi said he resented it because Channuka is a celebration of Jewish resistance to outside influence, for the truimph of our culture; and, regretably, there are many reform or even conservative jews out there who really celebrate with a 'channuka bush'. It's not something to joke about. I guess he really wanted to stress that on us.
For some reason, this is the type of prank that really gets to him. When my class put up a mock Rave as part of our senior class Purim shtick (8 ppl had been suspended, 1 expelled over the Rave), he went nuts - however, his incredible ability to relay over why it bothers him so much (and should not have been done) is one of his greatest strengths. I don't know whose shiur you are in, but our year, when the guys received their [6-week] suspensions, he walked into shiur, saw everyone standing and waiting quietly, and asked, "Are we learning today?" One friend answered simply, "No." He said that was fine, and proceeded to discuss with us why the punishment received was chosen - and even if we didn't completely agree as to the severity, we had a far better understanding. Perhaps (if you are in his shiur) you could ask him to discuss it with you. Otherwise, there's always the Rabbi who comes around at night - you can discuss everything with him.
A mock rave? wow. thats funny. I've always suspected that's where the beis midrash guys go when they think we're not watching. hah! i've said as much to them, too. currently I'm under Rabbi H. if u get that at all.
If it'll make your rabbi feel any better, most of us Conservative Jews feel very strongly that so-called "Chanukah bushes" are completely beyond the pale. I'll be 57 in a few weeks, and I've never seen a so-called "Chanukah bush) in my life (to the best of my recollection), nor do I have any desire to see one. I don't believe I've ever known a single Conservative Jew who's in favor of such an abomination.
Bottom line: Christmas trees are for Christians. There's no such thing as a Chanukah bush. Period.
I guess your Rosh Yeshiva doesn't have such a good sense of humour. However, I agree strongly with shira - Christmas trees I can deal with. Chanukah bushes I can't. (If they'll let it into your yeshiva, Destiny (Aaron Applebaum) has a really nice song about that, it's called Coloured Candles.)
Rabbi H was my 9th grade Rebbe - and I have incredible respect for him. He's my role model for calm, and one of them for thinking about what I say before speaking.
It may be way too late at this point, and by now you may not care; but he's someone who you can ask (though he leans to private discussions on these I believe) to explain anything, such as why it was such a big deal.
In general: I made the mistake of not being as close with Rabbi H once I hit 11th/12th, and especially after that - it's tricky because he's quieter, but try and become close with him. He a) listens and b) gives wonderful conceptual wisdom on life, if you can understand that.
In fact, do me a favor: Tell him "Thank you" for me.
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